Lying is epidemic among
youth today.
Professor Don McCabe of
Rutgers University is one of the nation’s gurus on academic
dishonesty. His research on high school students shows that
nearly 2 out of every 3 students admits to copying from
someone else’s test. Over 3 out of 4 report having gotten
test answers from someone who had already taken the test and
nearly 9 out of 10 let someone else copy their homework. And
the list goes on.
Honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, or whatever you want to
call it, is a cornerstone of good character.
So what is a parent to do?
How can we help foster honesty in our kids?
A new book by parenting expert Michele Borba offers some
very helpful advice. The book is entitled No More Misbehavin’: 38 Difficult
Behaviors and How to Stop Them. It offers very
practical advice to parents on effective strategies for
reducing undesirable behavior in their children.
So let’s take a look at what she has to say about honesty
and lying.
Borba suggest seven strategies for this type of behavior.
• Expect and demand honesty
• Reinforce honesty
• Use moral questioning
• Don’t overreact
• Teach the difference between real and make believe
• Explain why dishonesty is wrong
• Set a consequence for repeat dishonesty.
Let’s examine a few of these.
First, you need to make sure that your child knows that you
care deeply about honesty. Tell them.
Then, when you catch them in the act of telling the truth,
especially when it is against their best interests to be
honest, let them know how proud you are.
And be sure to ask them if they understand the consequences
of their actions when they lie; especially the consequences
to others.
But be sure that you don’t overreact if what your child is
doing is just a cry for attention. Sometimes they misbehave
as a desperate way to get you to pay attention to them.
However, if this is consistently true then it is time to
seriously question how you have gotten yourself (and your
child) into such a sad relationship.
If you follow Borba’s suggestions, especially if you start
early in your child’s life, then you are likely to be a
great character educator and your child is likely to develop
good character.
And that’s no lie.
