Center for Character & Citizenship

University of Missouri - St. Louis                  

                                                     

 

 Home   Services   Programs   Research   Funded Projects   Contact Us  

More columns by Dr. Berkowitz about character and back-to-school:

Homework is not a Four-Letter Word

 

Who Cares About School?

 

Back to School

 

How do you Help?

 

Bullying

 

a

 

 

 

 

 

Back to Parenting Home Page

 

Who Cares About School?

By Dr. Marvin Berkowitz

When Julie Andrews sang about “a few of her favorite things,” she didn’t mention school. This is not surprising. School wouldn’t be most kids’ first choice for how to spend a large chunk of their waking hours.
 

I remember a rather startling scene from my first few minutes in school. Like probably most of my peers, I arrived at my first day of nursery school with great fear and apprehension. One of my classmates was a bit more honest and direct than most of us in expressing his feelings about having his mother abandon him to a room full of strangers. He was standing on his hands, with his feet kicking against the door, and screaming at the top of his lungs, while objects poured from his pockets and mucous flowed from his nostrils. He certainly got my attention (and that of everyone within earshot - probably within three or four miles)It was after all an Olympic-caliber performance.


School is strong stuff, and it can be scary or boring. And kids’ emotional reactions to school will have an effect on both how well they do and how they develop. Recent findings suggest that attachment to school helps keep kids out of trouble. Those who feel bonded to school are less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as substance use and delinquency. This alone is reason enough to want to make schools less boring and unfriendly. The US spends nearly half a trillion dollars a year on education, and most kids still find school boring and uninspiring. Shouldn’t we try to make schools more user-friendly?
 

In fact, our schools (especially our high schools) are perhaps the least evolved institutions we have. Think about it: just how different is the structure of school today from when you were a kid? And did you enjoy going to school as a kid?
 

Probably not.
 

Character educators have come to discover that their effectiveness depends upon whether kids see their schools as “caring communities.” If they see the school as a place where people care about each other (and especially about them) and take care of each other, then they are more likely to care about others. Kids also become more likely to sup-port democratic values, to avoid drugs and other risky behaviors, to want to do well in school, and to get better grades.
 

So if we want to keep kids from losing their cool and their character (not to mention their pocket change and bodily fluids like my nursery school classmate), we need to help them bond to school. Schools need to become more child-friendly places, so kids want to go to school and see their schools as places where people care about them.
 

But, this isn’t the school’s responsibility alone. Parents need to work hard to develop and support a “school ethic.”
How? Parents need to be involved in their kids’ education. They need to monitor and help with homework. They need to ask kids how their day at school went (even if the answer is always, “I dunno”). Make a habit of asking about school as soon as kids get home, and then again during meal time. Parents need to volunteer to help at school. They need to read messages from the principal and teacher and to respond promptly. They should tell kids stories (happy ones) from when they went to school.


Schools cannot merely be “holding tanks” for our youth. Kids need to want to attend school, to enjoy school. Then they can stand competently on their own two feet, rather than hysterically on their hands.